Life...and Top Gun
Though I haven't posted since I was jamming to NKOTB at Christmas, I've been around, reading blogs of others and in general, wishing I had something to blog about. That is, other than the endless drone of paper grading, lesson planning, and desperately trying to find time to finish knitting projects and reading the library book that I have renewed 3 times since checking it out the week before Christmas. I suppose, uninspired, is a good word to describe it.
Then, today, while in the middle of a singing/dancing/cooking frenzy, a song popped up on one of my mix c.d.s that I've made (I'm only slightly "with it" as far as downloading and playing music). I always think it's funny when I get excited at a song that I like playing on my c.d.s and my automatic exclamation "Oh my god, I love this song!" Duh! That's why it's on here! Anyway, I've been a fan of the Berlin song, "Take My Breath Away" from Top Gun for a while. It's an old song, but still a good one.
There's nothing too special about the song. It's a love song, nothing more to say. But when it's turn on the c.d. came up today, the song struck me in a different way than it normally does. It made me feel a strange sense of nostalgia and...melancholy. Though I hesitate to use that word, because I was already feeling that way during Christmas. This wasn't sadness upon hearing the song, just a weird feeling of familiarity.
I began to wonder why this particular song would have this effect on me. Could it be that my parents really liked the movie Top Gun and would often watch it on VHS when I was growing up? I like the movie too and own it...also on VHS, not dvd. The movie, like the song, is not very special. An action packed movie with a love theme, that stars an up-and-coming Tom Cruise. Not a big deal. So I guess you could say, I grew up watching the movie. When I was in my late teens, I made a couple of trips to our local theme park, Carowinds. They have a roller coaster built around the movie, though it's probably been replaced by a bigger, badder, and more with the times ride. Looking back at the times I rode it, I think of the fun I had with the various friends I rode it with and the Top Gun theme music that played when the roller coaster began and when it came back into the station. Then there was my first turtle. I got Maverick when I was in my first year of college. His name was derived from the flight he took across the roof of my car in his take-home box when I was trying to unlock my car door at the pet store.
Could it be that this movie had a small part in the happiest moments of my life? My childhood...before the hell that was my teenage years...the end of my teen years...when I looked forward to my future with happiness...the beginning of my college career...before my mental health took a nosedive.
I don't know why this particular day, this particular song made me feel this way. Maybe tomorrow it won't have any effect on me at all. As my mom always said in response to questions..."we'll see."
